Dr. Woody'z "Wize Wurdz, Droll Dichos & Homey Homilies", Jan, 3, 2018

A 'gentleman' should be known by the quality of his intoxicants and his generosity with them.

A MINIMUM wage that is NOT also a LIVING wage is makes a mockery of "working for a living."

A burning flag injures no one who is not wrapped in it.

Age inflicts the subtlest injuries.

Agnosticism: A conviction that arguing over the 'existence' of 'gods' is mere, idol speculation...

A grudge needn't be "forever": one day at a time is enough.

Algebra is the grammar of calculus; calculus is the language of "the modern World."

All 'religions' extract obedience, submission, and self-abnegation from the 'faithfui' in exchange for moral 'certainty.' 

Allowing White people to "define" racism in Murka is like letting priests define pederasty.

Anti-vax fanatics are descended from the folks who used to blame witchcraft for a still-born calf. 

Atheism is a "religion" the same way "Off" is a TV channel.

Belief is redundant in the presence of sufficient evidence.

Blaming (or congratulating) ANY one president for the the rising or falling of the current economy is like blaming a passing ship for the tides. 

Causation in human affairs is ALWAYS retrospective.

Celebrities are known for BEING known, not for WHAT they know.

Childless: at least that's ONE mess I won't leave behind.

Civility is the shit-soaked ball-gag the powerful force onto the People to silence their rage.

Class war only occurs when the workers fight back.

Correlation is not causality, but it is close enough for schadenfreude.

Credit cards are nothing so much as renewable instruments of perpetual indenture.

Depressions are only really bad for 98-99% of folks. The rest do okay.

"Dignity" is civilization's substitute for "turf and mates."

Dogs read languages most humans don't know we are speaking.

Do not automatically attribute to stupidity or ignorance what can equally well be explained by malice and/or indifference.

Don't expect to be treated nicely by people to whose "Faith" you are a living rebuke.

Economics is the scientific application of high-level maths to the job of king the Rulers look good.

Everybody's got 'baggage'. What matters is how and what you pack.

Faith (#1) is NOT an automatic dispensation from the requirements of reason and logic.

Faith (#2) is the capacity to believe, wholly, what cannot possibly be true.

Free will (#1) is a handy myth by which the Owners can blame the Losers for their own fate and make the Losers accept the verdict.

Free will (#2) is a metaphorical trap by which the Oners/Owners persuade the powerless to blame themselves for their own oppression.

Freedom in any civilization is measured by the distance between the Church and the State.

Freedom isn't free; so quitcher bitchin', and pay your fucking taxes...

Folks who now blame vaccines for their children's infirmities once blamed witches for still-born calves.

Futility is appealing to sensibilities which one's antagonists and adversaries do not possess.

Grafitti is the art of "self-inscryption."

Great wealth is never "innocent."

Grown-ups don't expect "credit" for doing the right thing, or for NOT doing the wrong one.

High ground is great in a flood, not so much in a fire.

Hope is emotional morphine. It doesn't relieve pain, it anulls anxiety about it.

How can one trust ordinary citizens to be 'responsible gun owners' when so overwhelmingly MANY of them are not even 'responsible citizens?'

Humanity: A cosmic experiment, testing if Life can survive self-consciousness. The Null Hypothesis appears safe.

I always scored "high" on drug tests...

I believe in higher powers; they're called "exponents."

I bid you all peaceful slumbers--but if not, then poor memory...

I find the most vitriolic critics of lawyers usually have NOT been "defendants."

I never lost a job; I knew where every damn one of 'em was the day they let me go...

I'll believe you don't solve problems by throwing money at them when people with money stop throwing it at their problems.

I've not got much use for those who gotta have "God" to be good.

If I know your religious beliefs, and I haven't asked you about'em, you've said too much.

If it's my weed, we're on my schedule; if it's yours, I'm flexible.

If men were conditioned from birth to autofellate, they'd never have to leave the house; there'd be world peace in a generation...

If religious people were susceptible to reason, they wouldn't BE religious people.

If the fascist boot ain't on yer neck, it might be cuz it's on yer foot.

If you can be trusted with a gun, you can be trusted with a joint.

If you get better with age, I must SURELY be approaching "splendid" by now.

In a dog's eyes, there's no such thing as "size."

In principle, there are a gazillion explanations for "things" that DON'T require "god," or "divine will" and only one that does. I like the odds.

In the "real" world, nobody cares HOW you win, only THAT you do...

In the Corporate State, corporate media are State Media.

In the USofA, today, every shooting deathy is a "political" killing.

Irony is incomprehensible to the true believer.

Is "freedom" an intellectual/emotional antidote--the speculative antivenin--to the snake-bite certainty of determinism?

It's both stupid & futile to pretend to operate a political democracy within a totalitarian economy.

It is often easier an more effective to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.

It's hard to convince someone NOT to believe a falsehood upon and in which their only power rests, howsoever illicit.

It's hard to quit being an asshole, because it requires admitting you were an asshole to begin with.

It's tough when you look this good to feel so bad.

It's your pain. Nobody gets to tell you what hurts, how much or what helps.

Law functions best to insulate the Rulers from the insolence of the unruly.

Learning is what we call what happens when education turns feeling into knowing.

Life is so rich, so variegated, so fecund that it seems unlikely that it is also rare.

Life's an existential tautology: It's only purpose is to "be."

Life's too short to drink cheap Scotch.

Low on weed? "Be careful with whatchu got!" Good advice for anytime, really...

Men seldom realize they're in the shit til it closes over them.

Men who weep at tragedy are "compassionate"; a weeping woman is "weak."

Metaphor: The art of calling something what it is not, and being understood.

Miracles seem to diminish in direct proportion to the availability of recording devices.

Most men have feet of clay: the more prominent the man, the more porous the feet.

NOTHING of which humans are capable has NOT at some time been both a sin and a sacrament.

No 'quiet desperation.' Not here; my despair is LOUD and RUDE.

No language is either "inferior" or "superior." None is "better" nor "worse." Each one uniquely conveys the conditions its speakers require it to describe.

No people is humane or civilized which sells its victims to the highest bidder.

No reliable CorpoRat sycophant, of which ever "party," ever left Congress broke.

Nobody gets religion like a slut gone "good."

Nobody's ever too old to be an orphan.

One is only as 'free" as one is wealthy, in the capitalist USofA.. 

One may be honestly mistaken; but upon learning what is true, one must thereafter cease to be either 1) mistaken or 2) honest.

One may safely ignore those who loudly or proudly proclaim their own sanctity or enlightenment.

One seldom mutters imprecations when drunk that one does NOT think when sober.

One thing "faith" makes possible: ENDLESS self-deception!

One thing about being a solipsist is, you're never really alone.

Optimism is the secular equivalent of "faith."

People who mock lawyers mostly have never been defendants.

Religion is how folks who need 'purpose' invent it.

Religion is the safest grift: Nobody can say "God" didn't "say" what you say "He said."

Sarcasm: For when it's really NOT worth prison.

Sex is just sex. All the rest is adjectives. 

Speak no more ill of the dead than they did of the living.

Speed kills. Weed chills.

The "media": Electronic thorazine for an irritable polis.

That I am not surprised does not mean I am not outraged.

The thetoric of "positive thinking" and "self-reliance" is a tool the Bosses use to blame the proles for failing to overcome the hurdles, pitfalls, and obstacles the Owners set before them.

The "sin" at the root of all "religious" crimes is "thought."

The Bosses don't have to control what you think as long as they control what you think about, and how you think about it."

The Difference? Drunks run stop-signs; stoners wait for 'em to turn green.

The Rich make "choices": Porsche or Jag;the poor make "decisions": Food or rent...

The Secret of Life: It's doable, once you quit expecting it not to suck.

The biggest difference between "flying" and "falling" is in the landing.

The epitome of human hubris is the frantic search for the cure for death.

The greatest privilege the privileged enjoy is the privilege of pretending they aren't privileged.

The more knowledge there is, the less "miraculous" the Universe seems, but the MORE astonishing.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

The worst thing about having a good education is that it won't let you forget.

The person who says money can't buy happiness probably doesn't know where to shop.

There CANNOT be a meaningful political "democracy" amid a totalitarian economy.

There is no such thing as an "outside" joke.

There's nothing in the 'worst' of us that isn't in ALL of us.

They say, you can't cheat an honest man. Don't believe it. You can.

Thinking: What we call the process of turning feelings into words.

Treat your 'faith' like your dick: Don't shove it in somebody's face unless they ask...

United, we bargain; divided, we beg.

Usurpers are endlessly inventive in "defense" of the stolen.

We're all gonna go sometime. There is no law that says it's gotta be awful. 

What Coprophagy is to nutrition, so exactly is Ayn Rand to intellect.

What we detest most in ourselves, infallibly we detect immediately in others.

What you see depends not on what you're looking at, but what you're looking for.

What's the loneliest waterway in the world? Bayou Selphe...

When in doubt, you're probably right.

When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. But if you have ANYTHING,m then you have EVERYTHING to lose.

Who can convince you to believe the impossible can induce you to do the unthinkable.

Who votes doesn't count; who counts the votes does...

Who sees fraud in every program for the poor only attests to their own avarice and sloth. 

Who would be both safe and free/Asks what ne'er was nor e'er can be.

Without deadlines, I'd have had far fewer headlines.

Wolf pups snapping at one anothers' heels aren't simply "playing," they're PRACTICING.

You are NOT "What you eat." You are what you don't excrete.

You can't sell your soul and then pretend you still have one.

You do not "know" what you cannot "say."

You don't have be very smart to confuse the truly stupid.

You get what you'll settle for.

(Copyright, John Konopak, 2018.)