DR. WOODY'S DROLL DICHOS & HOMEY HOMILIES
- "Tweet" and "Twitter": Last gasps of cultural canaries in this hyper-mediated "coal-mine."
- A 'gentleman' should be known by the quality of his intoxicants and his generosity with them.
- A 9-letter word meaning "Thinking 'Everyone's out to get me. '" 'Paranoiac? "No,"Observant."
- A MINIMUM wage that is NOT also a LIVING wage is makes a mockery of "working for a living."
- A burning flag injures no one who is not wrapped in it.
- Age inflicts the subtlest injuries.
- Agnosticism: A conviction that arguing over the 'existence' of 'gods' is only idol speculation...
- Algebra is the grammar of calculus; calculus is the language of "the modern World."
- Allowing White people to "define" racism in Murka is like letting priests define pederasty.
- Atheism is a "religion" the same way "Off" is a TV channel.
- Belief is redundant in the presence of sufficient evidence.
- Causation in human affairs is ALWAYS retrospective.
- Celebrities are known for BEING known, not for WHAT they know.
- Childless: at least that's ONE mess I won't leave behind.
- Civility is the shit-soaked ball-gag the powerful force onto the People to silence their rage.
- Class war only occurs when the workers fight back
- Correlation is not causality, but it is close enough for schadenfreude,
- Credit cards are nothing so much as renewable instruments of indenture.
- Depressions are only really bad for 98-99% of folks. The rest do okay.
- Dogs read languages most humans don't know we are speaking.
- Do not automatically impute to 'stupidity' what can equally well be explained by 'malice.'
- Do you have the sense that it's already been as good as it's gonna get?
- Don't expect to be treated nicely by people to whose faith you are a living rebuke.
- Economics is the scientific application of high-level maths to the job of making the Rulers look good.
- Everybody's got 'baggage'. What matters is how and what you pack.
- Faith is NOT an automatic dispensation from the requirementrs of reason and logic.
- Free will (#1) is a handy myth by which the Owners can blame the Losers for their own fate and make the Losers accept the verdict.
- Free will (#2) is a metaphorical trap by which the Oners/Owners persuade the powerless to blame themselves for their own oppression.
- Freedom in any civilization is measured by the distance between the Church and the State.
- Freedom isn't free; so quitcher bitchin', and pay your fucking taxes...
- Folks who now blame vaccines for their children's infirmities once blamed witches for still-born calves.
- Grafitti is the art of "self-inscryption."
- Great wealth is never "innocent."
- Grown-ups don't expect "credit" for doing the right thing, or for NOT doing the wrong one.
- Hope is emotional morphine. It doesn't relieve pain, it anulls anxiety about it.
- How can one trust ordinary citizens to be 'responsible gun owners' when so overwhelmingly MANY of them are not even 'responsible citizens?'
- Humanity: A cosmic experiment, testing if Life can survive self-consciousness. The Null Hypothesis appears safe.
- I always scored "high" on drug tests...
- I believe in higher powers; they're called "exponents."
- I bid you all peaceful slumbers--but if not, then poor memory...
- I find the most vitriolic critics of lawyers usually have NOT been "defendants."
- I never lost a job; I knew where every damn one of 'em was the day they let me go...
- I'll believe you don't solve problems by throwing money at them when people with money stop throwing it at their problems.
- I've not got much use for those who gotta have "God" to be good.
- If I know your religious beliefs, and I haven't asked you about'em, you've said too much.
- If it's my weed, we're on my schedule; if it's yours, I'm flexible.
- If men were conditioned from birth to autofellate, they'd never have to leave the house; there'd be world peace in a generation...
- If religious people were susceptible to reason, they wouldn't BE religious people.
- If the fascist boot ain't on yer neck, it might be cuz it's on yer foot.
- If you can be trusted with a gun, you can be trusted with a joint.
- If you get better with age, I must SURELY be approaching "splendid" by now.
- In a dog's eyes, there's no such thing as "size."
- In principle, there are a gazillion explanations for "things" that DON'T require "god," or "divine will" and only one that does. I like the odds.
- In the "real" world, nobody cares HOW you win, only THAT you do...
- In the Corporate State, corporate media are State Media.
- Irony is incomprehensible to the true believer.
- Is "freedom" an intellectual/emotional antidote--the speculative antivenin--to the snake-bite certainty of determinism?
- It is often easier an more effective to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
- It's hard to quit being an asshole, because it requires admitting you were an asshole to begin with.
- It's your pain. Nobody gets to tell you what hurts, how much or what helps.
- Law functions best to insulate the Rulers from the insolence of the unruly.
- Life is so rich, so variegated, so fecund that I find it unlikely that it is rare.
- Life's an existential tautology: It's only purpose is to "be."
- Life's too short to drink cheap Scotch,
- Men seldom realize they're in the shit til it closes over them.
- Men who weep at tragedy are "compassionate"; a weeping woman is "weak."
- Metaphor: The art of calling something what it is not, and being understood.
- NOTHING of which humans are capable has NOT at some time been both a sin and a sacrament.
- No 'quiet desperation.' Not here; here, the despair is LOUD and RUDE.
- No language is either "inferior" or "superior." None is "better" nor "worse." Each one uniquely conveys the conditions its speakers require it to describe.
- No people is humane or civilized which sells its victims to the highest bidder.
- No reliable CorpoRat sycophant, of which ever "party," ever left Congress broke.
- Nobody gets religion like a slut gone "good."
- Nobody's ever too old to be an orphan.
- One is only as 'free" as one is wealthy.
- One may be honestly mistaken; but upon learning what is true, one must thereafter cease to be either 1) mistaken or 2) honest.
- One may safely ignore those who loudly or proudly proclaim their own sanctity or enlightenment.
- One seldom mutters imprecations when drunk that one does NOT think when sober.
- One thing "faith" makes possible: ENDLESS self-deception!
- One thing about being a solipsist is, you're never really alone.
- Optimism is the secular equivalent of "faith."
- People who mock lawyers mostly have never been defendants.
- Religion is how folks who need 'purpose' invent it.
- Religion is the safest grift: Nobody can say "God" didn't "say" what you say "He said."
- Sarcasm: For when it's really NOT worth prison.
- Sex is just sex. All the rest is adjectives.
- Speed kills. Weed chills.
- Television: Electronic thorazine for an irritable polis.
- That I am not surprised does not mean I am not outraged.
- The "positive thinking" and "self-reliance" rhetoric is a tool the Bosses use to blame the proles for failing to overcome the hurdles, pitfalls, and obstacles the Owners set before them.
- The "sin" at the root of all "religious" crimes is "thought."
- The Bosses don't have to control what you think as long as they control what you think about, and how you think about it."
- The Difference? Drunks run stop-signs; stoners wait for 'em to turn green.
- The Rich make "choices": Porsche or Jag;the poor make "decisions": Food or rent.
- The Secret of Life: It's doable, once you quit expecting it not to suck.
- The biggest difference between "flying" and "falling" is in the landing.
- The epitome of human hubris is the frantic search for the cure for death.
- The greatest privilege the privileged enjoy is the privilege of pretending they aren't privileged.
- The more knowledge there is, the less "miraculous" the Universe seems, but the MORE astonishing.
- The older I get, the better I used to be.
- The worst thing about having a good education is that it won't let you forget.
- The person who says money can't buy happiness probably doesn't know where to shop.
- There CANNOT be a meaningful political "democracy" amid a totalitarian economy.
- There is no such thing as an "outside" joke.
- There's nothing in the 'worst' of us that isn't in ALL of us.
- They say, you can't cheat an honest man. Don't belive it. You can.
- Thinking: What we call the process of turning feelings into words.
- Treat your 'faith' like your dick: Don't shove it in somebody's face unless they ask...
- United, we bargain; divided, we beg.
- Usurpers are endlessly inventive in "defense" of the stolen.
- We're all gonna go sometime. There is no law that says it's gotta be awful.
- What Coprophagy is to nutrition, so exactly is Ayn Rand to intellect.
- What we detest most in ourselves, infallibly we detect immediately in others.
- What you see depends not on what you're looking at, but what you're looking for.
- What's the loneliest waterway in the world? Bayou Selphe...
- When in doubt, you're probably right.
- When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. But if you have ANYTHING,m then you have EVERYTHING to lose.
- Who can convince you to believe the impossible can induce you to do the unthinkable.
- Who sees fraud in every program for the poor only attests to their own avarice and sloth.
- Who would be both safe and free/Asks what ne'er was nor e'er can be.
- Without deadlines, I'd have had far fewer headlines.
- Wolf pups snapping at one anothers' heels aren't simply "playing," they're PRACTICING.
- You are NOT "What you eat." You are what you don't excrete.
- You can't sell your soul and then pretend you still have one.
- You do not "know" what you cannot "say."
- You don't have be very smart to confuse the truly stupid.
- You get what you'll settle for.
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